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Submitted on
June 8, 2012
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(Contains: nudity)
Chibi!Romano x Reader x Spain-Innocence Isn't Always Bliss, but It Sure As Hell Is Funny
______________________________________________________________________________
There is quite a bit of nudity in this, and the fact that Romano is just a child probably doesn't help things much. You might feel like a bit of a pedophile after reading this, even though no sexual actions take place. If all else fails to comfort you, remember that this is crack and its supposed to be weird.
______________________________________________________________________________

[At Spain's house.]

"Hey bastard! Fuck off!" Romano commanded as he jumped up on the couch and wedged his way between you and Spain.

"But Romano!" Spain pleaded, only to receive the finger from the feisty Italian. You giggled as you saw Spain's defeated face.

"That's right Romano! You tell him!"

"(Your name), don't encourage him!"

"Shut up bastard!" You giggled again and pulled Romano in for an affectionate hug. Spain, humiliated by his little henchman and his girlfriend, left the room to go sulk somewhere. Not that either one of you cared.

[An hour later.]

"Romano!~ It's time for your bath!" Spain called from upstairs, a slight sadness still detectable in his voice.

"I don't want to take a bath bastard!"

"Too bad! You have to!"

"Fuck you asshole!" Romano yelled, voice filled with rage. He wasn't going to take a bath when that stupid tomato head told him to, he would do it when he damn well pleased! You patted Romano on the head and offered him a warm smile.

"Come on, bath time!" You picked him up and began to carry him upstairs to the bathroom. He protested lightly against you, but quickly enough gave up. You sat him down lightly on the bathroom floor; he turned around to look at you.

"............"

"......................"

"............"

"....Get out so I can take a bath." Romano could practically see the light blub light up above your head, and resisted the urge to face palm.

"Right, right! Sorry about that Roma!~"

[Back downstairs.]

"What'cha doin'?" You questioned your Spanish boyfriend as you embraced him in a hug from behind.

"Nothing..."

"Why so glum buttercup?" You could feel the aura around Spain darken.

"Romano never listens to me..."

"Maybe cause he likes me better?~" You teased.

"Yeah, probably..." He turned around to face you, his eye twitching slightly.

"Aw, you poor baby.~" You nuzzled your face lovingly into the crook of his neck, whilst Spain embraced you, making sure one of his hands was planted firmly on your ass. Things were about to heat up....

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH! HOLY SHIT!!!" Romano's frightened voice broke through the silence of the house, causing the two of you to nearly jump out of your skins. What was happening?! Was Romano in trouble!? The two of you raced up the stairs and into the bathroom, at some point Spain had acquired a baseball and was ready to beat someones brain in with it. The sight you saw was far from what the two of you had expected. Romano was flipping out in the bathtub, splashing water everywhere and crying. You rushed to Romano's side and tried to get him to calm down.

"Romano, what's the matter!?"

"It's going to fall off, it's going to fall off!" He wailed as he continued to flail about in the water.

"What's going to fall off!? Calm down and look at me!" You commanded, managing to calm his flailing limbs but water still flowed freely from his eyes. "Now what's going on?'

"It's going to fall off!" Romano managed to choke out between sobs.

"What's going to fall off?"

"This." Romano pointed at his hardened penis before bursting out in a new wave of tears. You jumped back the moment your eyes caught sight of his member, temporarily shocked. That was the last thing you were expecting to see. Spain, on the other hand, burst out into laughter.

"You think it's going to fall off?" Spain howled with laughter, which you quickly joined in on.

"Shut up bastards! This isn't funny! It's going to fall off!" Romano screamed through his tears. What was wrong with you two?! His vital regions were going to fall off and you two laughed like it was the funniest thing in the world! He couldn't help but feel hurt that you two hated him so much that you would laugh when something like this happened to him. "You bastards! Why do you hate me!?!" This accusation sent the two of you to the ground, doubled over in laughter and pain. Romano was so cute, and surprisingly innocent after all! After several more minutes of excruciating laughter and death threats you two finally pulled yourselves together enough to explain to poor little Romano that his dick wasn't going to fall off and that it was perfectly normal for this to happen whenever you thought of pretty girls. It took quite a bit of convincing, but eventually Romano accepted your explanation and shouted at you two to leave so he could finish his bath in peace.

[Later that night.]

"Aw, poor Romano!~" You laughed as you took a sip of your wine. "I felt so bad for laughing at him, but I just couldn't help myself!" Spain chuckled.

"That was hilarious! Even though Romano was scared to death, he was so cute!~" You nodded in agreement.

"Now I feel like a pedophile though." Spain patted you on the back.

"As do I (Your name). As do I."
/Re-uploaded from my old account/

The real title wouldn't fit so I had to come up with an alternate one.

My friend Paige told me about how her little brother had his first boner and was flipping out because he thought it was going to fall off, so me being the person that I am, I had to make a fic out of it. It would of been UNawesome of me not to.

Hetalia (c) Himaruya Hidekaz

You (c) Me
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:iconxxxlilbugxxx:
XXxlilbugxXX Featured By Owner Aug 28, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
XD it is going to fall off!
Reply
:iconkurahei:
Kurahei Featured By Owner Aug 25, 2013  Hobbyist General Artist
My sides..omfg..XD
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:iconevanescence992:
Evanescence992 Featured By Owner May 24, 2013  Student General Artist
can't stop laughing too funny
Reply
:iconpuccafan762:
puccafan762 Featured By Owner May 10, 2013  Student Artist
XDDDDD *can't stop laughing*
Reply
:iconlucasandloba:
LucasandLoba Featured By Owner Mar 24, 2013  Student Filmographer
Was this the end?
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:iconcrythepainandsorrow:
CryThePainAndSorrow Featured By Owner Mar 25, 2013
Yup.
Reply
:iconemilytrancy:
EmilyTrancy Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013  Student General Artist
This. Is. Prussia. Awesome!!!! :D
Now I just need to stop laughing!
Reply
:iconcrythepainandsorrow:
CryThePainAndSorrow Featured By Owner Feb 2, 2013
I'm glad you enjoyed it =3
Reply
:iconhetaliaphilipines123:
wait... so what happened to romano?
Reply
:iconcrythepainandsorrow:
CryThePainAndSorrow Featured By Owner Aug 18, 2012
He finishes his bath in peace and then goes to sleep. Except now he has the capability to get boners and not freak out about them.
Reply
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